Thursday, April 18, 2013

No Hope

I tried to run away from my new roommate.

It showed me what it really was. It revealed itself to me, and took me into its bedroom, as I was heading out the door. I don't know how it knew that I was running, but it did.

I know now that I will never escape. Whatever monster masqueraded as Brian to begin with has claimed me, and it has power that no one on Earth could possibly fathom without experiencing it firsthand. Wherever I go, it will find me. It will cause some intrusion to occur, and the intrusion will lead me back to it, and it will have power over me until the end of time.

It showed all of this to me, and I was glad for it, because it still made me see myself as its bride. But now I know the truth. It does not care for me. It is as unfeeling as the wind, which blows us all one direction or another without concern for our plans or our feelings.

The creature that has taken over my life will use me, again and again and again and again, as a host for its children. I don't know what it intends to do beyond that, and I don't think I want to.

I only have this blog, the last place where it has no power over me and my thoughts.

I have no hope left of escape.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Something Unexplainable

My new roommate cannot possibly be human.

I don't know what's going on anymore. Everything I know about the world has been twisted into something horrible, something dangerous. Brian, whatever he is, has turned the world against me and has made himself the only thing stable in my entire life.

Since I discovered my own pregnancy, things have gotten exponentially worse for me, in every way possible. When I leave the house, people treat me with scorn and hostility, as though I am someone to be avoided. Spyrian Mobile fired me for "improper conduct" and my bank accounts have frozen mysteriously. Every inquiry I've made to try and understand why has been fruitless. It's as though my existence has been made undesirable to the entire world. I know now that this must be Brian's doing, but I can not explain how or why he did this to me.

Just the other day someone spit at me in public for no reason.

Whenever I try to buy myself food, anywhere, something always goes wrong.

I can't show my face in public without being sneered and scowled at.

The world has become a terrifying place, and my only retreat, my apartment, I share with a roommate who I know cannot possibly be human. Every facet of my life has been invaded by something, somewhere, and I cannot find an escape from any of this. In Brian's presence, I find myself placated, unable to do the things I would normally do; I am content with him, due to whatever mind control he exerts over me when we are together.

It wasn't hard to realize that something was terribly amiss with Brian once I realized he had been hypnotizing me for some time. The fear that consumed me once this revelation became clear was enough to force me to reconsider everything I'd ever known. I had no idea how much of my life he had fabricated to make me into what he needed me to be, and I had no idea what kind of additional power he had, since I could only reason that he was the source of all of my misery.

Now, I wish I knew less about him than I do.

Just yesterday, Brian convinced me to go in for an eight week ultrasound, to check on the baby and see it as it was growing. Under his hypnotic pressure, I happily agreed, and we went to the doctor's office at last. It was the first time anything had gone properly for me in months, and I had to be under my roommate's horrific mind control to experience it.

We arrived and eventually were seen in to the room where the procedure was to take place. In addition to the fact that things went the way we intended them to, I encountered no one who was cruel to me while I was with Brian. This small measure of peace would have flooded me with relief, had I been myself at the time. But I was playing the part Brian had forced me to, his loving girlfriend with a baby on the way, and so I was without the sense even to revel in my current circumstances.

The procedure proceeded as normally as any other ultrasound, at first. The doctor was especially gentle with me, as though she sensed that there was some reason I might be grateful for her kindness, and when the images began to appear on screen she did her best to make the moment exciting for the both of us. Although I would not have actually enjoyed the procedure if I had been in my right mind, her sweetness was a blessing for me to remember fondly. It wasn't until the images of Brian's child appeared on the screen that I woke up enough from his trance to be alarmed.

What we saw on the monitor wasn't human. There was no way it could have been. It wasn't a distorted image, either; as clear as though in daylight, a monstrosity was staring out at us from the screen, a monstrosity that I knew was contained within my uterus. The thing had mandibles, it looked like, ones that gnashed and twitched even as we watched. The head was sleek and round, almost human, except for the eyes, which were far too large to be a human babies'. The body appeared to be a mass of writhing limbs, all tangled up together, and twitching in unsettling ways. The horrifying image was enough to shock be out of Brian's hypnosis for a few minutes, and I noticed that I could feel the tiny monster's limbs wriggling within me.

Brian had a pleasant look on his face, like he couldn't have been more proud, but the doctor and I were sharing a moment of deep terror. She stuttered and stared at the image, turning back to my roommate and I.

"I...I have never seen anything like this, this must be...some kind of mistake, like a machine malfunction or--" She would have continued, if not for Brian, who stared at her the same way he'd stared at me every time he needed to convince me of something clearly untrue.

"Nothing is wrong, what are you talking about?" He said. His voice was once again split into two, the horrific, hypnotic one nearly drowning out the one belonging to Brian. "The baby looks wonderful! I can't believe that's our little kid in there, like, wow! Isn't that amazing, Dor?"

He turned to me, then, and it was the same as before. My personality shrank back into oblivion, silenced into agreement with this creature from another world. I nodded, and so did our doctor, the both of us sinking into Brian's words like they were an ocean.

"Of course, babe," I replied, beaming with pride. "That's our little baby. We're gonna have a baby. We're gonna be parents!"

Brian's face grew dark, then. He shook his head, and for one moment I could see an overlapping image; it was the one I had remembered from the night he had raped me, the image of another version of my roommate. It was more clear this time, however. Whatever it was, I can't explain it. It was a fuzzy looking picture over the image of a human man, and the picture looked like some giant insect, like a larger version of the disgusting thing inside of me.

"No," It said. "I am going to be a parent. You are going to be a host."

Then, as quickly as the image had come, it disappeared. Our doctor didn't seem to register that there had been anything there, didn't seem to understand that what Brian had just said was horrifying and made no sense. And neither did I. I accepted, blindly, that what he said was truth. We returned home without another word spoken on the matter, and then he went to his room(which I still haven't seen the inside of since he moved in.)

I haven't heard from him since, and now that he's gone, the hypnosis is wearing off. I know that if he returns, I will be back to being a slave, carrying the spawn of a creature I can't fully explain.

I want to run, but I don't know if I can.